Anxiety is an emotion that affects us all in some way. For example, agoraphobia – the Anxiety of wide places – claustrophobia, acrophobia – Anxiety of heights or emetophobia – Anxiety of having to throw up.
Through our social environment – that is, how we grow up – we already get certain Anxietys drummed in as a young person. These Anxietys can continue to evolve over the course of life. Even to the extent that you can not do certain things anymore, can not leave the house, or just try to go through life as risk-free and carefully as possible. It can happen that we no longer exhaust our lives, but just wait and see.
Why do I devote myself to Anxiety? Because Anxiety is a big part of my current life. Due to my accident a few years ago, I suffered a trauma many years later in PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). But let’s start at the beginning. November 2016 I suddenly had from one day to the other really severe pain in the lower back. I could barely sit, drive, do sports. Everything hurt terribly. My trauma at the time showed me that suddenly, from one day to the next, everything can be different. And through these thought patterns, an idea developed in my head, which finally manifested through a recurring thought: “I have cancer.”
The doctor ordered an X-ray and CT and lo and behold, the discs were the problem. But despite all the evidence and the many doctor visits, I could not shake off the thought that it could not be more. For many weeks I lived with the Anxiety of having a deadly disease and having to die soon. Only after a few months, when the pain subsided, the Anxiety became smaller. Yet, this thought pattern, the constant concern for health, and this already pathological attention to physical symptoms was still there. Through therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, yoga and stress reduction I was able to shake off this Anxiety.
And again, my body was exposed to a stressful situation and this time it was my stomach that was always very sensitive to stress. Constant abdominal pain, bloating, constipation and diarrhea were commonplace. And again my head was of the opinion to know the answer: cancer. Tests, examinations and many doctor visits later, the diagnosis was irritable bowel syndrome, but I had to convince my head of it first. The problem was the following:
It can be seen that anxiety and the associated release of cortisol, adrenalin and other substances intensify physical symptoms and activate the so-called fight-or-flight response. This tries to avoid certain situations and completely bypass triggers. This provides a temporary relief of the symptoms, but in the long term, this behavior produces exactly the opposite effect. Just the realization that I myself was in this circle, took some time. But from that point on, I was able to begin to gain first tools for my fight against Anxiety. Certain methods, techniques, reducing stress and much more helped me immensely.
The Anxiety is part of me. And instead of letting Anxiety control me, I grow in Anxiety. She is my motivation to keep going and to get the most out of my motivation every day. Anxiety has not only shown me to be stronger than I thought, but also to question certain processes, things in life. Things that seem natural.
If you too are struggling with Anxietys, feel free to write or comment. And most of all, it is normal for the body to start reacting at some point. Chemical processes in the brain are responsible for this and if you recognize them, you can already mitigate certain reactions in advance.
Thanks for the time to read and I would appreciate feedback, especially since I have no idea how good or bad I am doing.